Beauty, Confidence, Attraction and Approval, were few of the factors that motivated my decisions of what to wear or not to wear, I considered other people’s opinion and perception important when it comes to what I wear and how I look. I wanted to be seen as someone that is trendy and fashion savvy.

I once tried going the skimpy route as a teenager, for the love of seeing heads turn when I pass by, then I also did the pink lipstick for a signature look, sometimes I still do super high heels for an extra dose of confidence, and I often go for dark colors to hide a few pounds around my waistline.

The trendy outcome of my careful and conscious selections would always earn me compliments from other people, I loved the compliments that came with being fashionable but despised the ache of keeping it all together, I wished I had chosen comfort ahead all the other motivating factors. But like they say, being fashionable comes with sacrifice; I had to learn how to smile in pains, I would do anything for the perfect chic look.

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@AKOSUA_VEE

So I would tie Gele, though it felt like a bucket full of water on my head, caused my scalp to itch and slowed me down from having fun at parties.

I would wear a svelte and sexy dress though it’s tight and restrictive, so super-figure-hugging-tight that you couldn’t visit the lavatory in it!

And for a complete chic look, I would fix acrylic nails, but no one would see me when I nursed my hurting fingers after scrubbing the bathtub, doing the dishes and washing clothes.

I would also let loose my 14″ Sensational Pro-10 Fresh Wave like Brandy, although unlike her, I live in a temperate region, and I do not have the luxury of being in a 24 hour air-conditioned apartment when the weather feels like its dripping hell.

For an elegant look, I always chose a super high heel. Yet, I carried flat slippers all around in my handbag; waiting for people to take their eyes away from me so I could yank off the shoes and slip into my comfy slippers.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the rat race of being the latest, hottest, and trendiest, forgetting that fashion is not only about how I look but also what is comfortable. Why should I have to be uncomfortable in whatever I wear? It’s like torture!

If fashion really comes with sacrifice, then such sacrifice is: For whom? To what end?  And at what cost?

I saw clips of “Secret Lives of Moms” on Oprah recently. She had a group of women who boldly broke their silence about motherhood, spilling the beans about not only the good side, but the bad and ugly sides of motherhood – the sides no one talked about for fear of being judged.

I wish we could have something similar, but this time it won’t be about mothers, it should be called “Secret Lives of Fashionistas – A Sisterhood of Fashionable Women”. Where there will be no holds barred, and women can reveal the exhausting, confusing, infuriating side of being fashionable without fear of being tagged ’fashion laid backs’ or ‘fashion challenged’. I am sure we will uncover a can of worms beneath the pretty faces and hip looks.

I have decided that when it comes to how I look, I will be more focused on defining my own style, what suits me and gives expression to who I am , trying to keep it all tight and high like the fashion world sometimes depicts it, takes me away from my comfort zones. That doesn’t mean that I won’t put care into my appearance, of course I  will always  dress appropriately and stylishly, I won’t wear a flip flop to office on a Monday morning in the name of comfort, and I  also won’t wear a high heel shoe to hang out with friends on a Sunday evening for fashion sakes!

To look nice, I have to be comfortable and not tugging at my clothes and feeling all weird cause my outfit is uncomfortable as hell. If it’s not comfortable, it affects my countenance, and puts me in an unproductive mood, then how can I enjoy the moment?

Comfort shouldn’t have to take a back seat to fashion; in fact it should be one of the words that describe fashion, because you can definitely be stylish and comfortable. We don’t have to be stuck in the Victorian Times; we now live in the Michellean era, when we can dress for the occasion and yet be comfortable in our own style. That is what I now aim for, the stylish look that is effortless, and someday I will get there. Yes, someday.

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